A home wrecker purposefully maintains a love affair with someone who is in a committed relationship. Being a home wrecker does not necessarily mean that the person is void of any virtue, but it is indicative of an unhealthy view of the self. Home wreckers cannot see that they are doomed to act out the drama cycle that keeps them from finding value in a committed relationship.
In the simplest explanation of their behavior, home wreckers seek to win the attention of an unavailable person. It’s the pure challenge of winning over something that is valuable to another person that drives the home wrecker into action. These people come in both genders, but a higher percentage of them are women. Jerks are well aware of this disfunction in women and take full advantage of it. I have heard many times from jerks that the best way to get a woman to be attracted to them is to reveal that they are in a committed relationship. One cheating jerk that I knew pointed to the wedding band on his finger and said with a big grin on his fathead face, “chick magnet.”
When a home wrecker falls for a committed man, nothing happens when the guy is not a jerk; maybe he’ll get an inflated ego when she invites him for a drink and laughs at his corny jokes…but generally, no harm done because he won’t allow it to go any further than flirtation. But what happens when she falls for a jerk? SHE CHECKS INTO DRAMA CITY MOTEL! The home wrecker-jerk attraction is so strong that it’s probably almost as common as having a personal trainer (not a qualified statement of course, but you can guess that my Love Triangle article had the most hits on my blog.)
A home wrecker is likely to be in denial of what she is doing. When in full operation, she thinks she’s fallen in love with a great man who happens to be committed. She thinks it’s just bad timing that she got there last. She doesn’t see anything wrong with following her heart if it calls her to something that others would see as bad. When trapped in this cycle, her primary focus becomes winning him over, so she tries her hardest to get his attention. She becomes obsessed with his daily routine and home life, and starts imagining herself as the happy wife. She becomes booty call whenever he has spare moments. In general, she seeks out the thrill of the chase rather than the value in what the cheating jerk has to offer. Often her plot is unsuccessful in getting the jerk to leave his significant other, but that does not deter her from trying it on someone else. On rare occassions when a home wrecker is successful, the resulting relationship is isn’t.
I have had affairs with married jerks, and the experience was exactly how I described it above. I’m not proud of that period in my life, but I have learned quite a bit about myself over those traumatic episodes. It was an unhealthy cycle. The unhealthy view of myself caused me to seek out such relationships. I had low self esteem, and I didn’t like myself. I didn’t think I would find someone who would like me enough to be committed to me, so I didn’t value committed relationships. Because I didn’t value committed relationships, I found it quite easy to fall for a committed man. I wasn’t really interested in being with him. I just wanted the external validation, not realizing that what I was doing was being careless with something that was precious to someone else.
If I just described your behavior, please stop. It’s a losing proposition because only jerks will entertain your sick offer. You are not mentally prepared for a healthy relationship, and you will continue to set yourself up for disappointment and wasted time in your personal growth. Stop putting poison in your karmic soup, and start treating other people’s relationships with respect. Oh and one more thing…YOU’RE A PYSCHO BITCH.