It’s been over 2 years since I decided to no longer allow jerks in my life, and I have been so happy since. I found a life free from the mental anguish to which I bounded myself. It was a decision that changed my life, allowing me to see that my happiness was entirely my choice. By asserting myself in keeping away from anyone who caused me drama, I was able to discover a world of things that brought me joy. Like attracts like, so a jerk-free world attracts jerk-free things.
The first thing I had to admit was that I was the cause of my own unhappiness. It’s not really a jerk’s fault that I was unhappy, but instead it was my choice to allow jerks to affect me. A jerk is a jerk is a jerk, and these types had been brought to my life because I allowed it. I knew in the back of my head that the things I was doing was not really bringing me inner peace, and yet I did them anyways because it was what I knew, and it seemed exciting. Jerks came and went, and that was a chapter in my life that I neither regret, nor do I yearn to have back. Self discovery of what I really wanted dictated that jerks were no longer required in life…and so it was.
Those of you who see your happiness on the other side of some fence (tangible or intangible) don’t realize just how close it is. Happiness is a choice. Things happen in life, some of which you can directly control, and some of which you can’t. But you are in full control of how you perceive things. Who can blame you for wanting the excitement of victimization? I wanted it before and I got exactly what I wanted. Life moves you through emotions. When you find emotion from the huge swings of positive and negative feelings, you are certainly alive, but you are not at peace.
For me nowadays, the emotions that drive me are the thrills of discovering my own creativity and how it relates to others. Certainly not the excitement of being a victim, a psycho bitch, or a jerk, but it’s my little piece of peace in life. I have little bitterness left for the past, and I’ve moved on, which is why I don’t post as much on this blog anymore. Wherever you are in life, may you eventually find your peace.