I know I’m not the only one who has jerk stories. Life lessons are meant to be shared with others. Feel free to post your jerk story in the comments of this page. I am likely to comment on your story to give you my perspective. Of course, we will edit or remove your story if deemed inappropriate for the target audience. Don’t be posting any cheezy ad.
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9 comments
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20 January 2009 at 2:05 am
Kim
I hesitated about writing this but a friend of mine who studies psychology for 6 years told me that even just writing it would ease the pain, so i decided to give it a chance. here we go:
I was dating a guy whom you can’t count on. So i broke up with him and met this jerk. He was a total a**hole who is smoking pot, living in a dump-like very small home, alone, super attractive, looking “oh-so-sensitive” and in need of help. So i decided to give him a chance and ruin my whole life for 14 months(!) Because i thought “Hey, why do i always reject the bad guys? Maybe i can try to help him to get better and this one’s really cute. So if i help him, i would gain a good boyfriend thus making him happy will make myself happy too
D”
That was the worst decision i have ever had. I still can’t forget him and blame myself everyday for STILL having feelings for him.
20 January 2009 at 12:59 pm
Van
Ah yes…the handsome but lost soul (aka LOSER!). I had a similar episode, and it took a long time to get rid of those residual feelings. But as long as you continue to develop yourself as an independent woman who is happy with herself, trust that the day will come when there will be no more feelings. You will look back and wonder “what was I even thinking having feelings for the idiot?” A big key to my success in being happy with myself was to surround myself with genuine friends who appreciated me for exactly who I was, and dumped all the toxic negative friendships. Continue to reject anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable about yourself, whether it be feelings of guilt, inadequacy, rage, or depression. And yes, just as your friend says, journaling and any kind of self expression of your disappointment (short of any contact with him) will tremendously ease things for you. Don’t blame yourself because that’s just another way to invite negativity into your healing. I see it as a chance to majorly improve your radar skills for ASSHOLES!
4 February 2009 at 10:13 am
Kim
Okay… weirdest thing just happened. He said wants me back :S
What should i do?
He keeps calling me, i don’t answer, because i feel too excited to answer.
Can he be “good” this time? :S
4 February 2009 at 2:41 pm
Van
Hi Kim. My answer is a flat out NO. If you have time, take a read of my previous post on being hopeful that he’ll fight to keep the relationship going. I know it’s tempting to respond. I know you feel flattered that he’s trying. I’m guessing you are still hanging on to the fantasy that he’s the one (take a read of my views on fantasies). There is a reason why things got to the point where you’ve broken up. It’s not working. If you broke it off, stick to your guns and use the time to understand what boundaries you’ve drawn for next time. If he broke it off and calling you back, then lose him cuz he’s definitely a loser who doesn’t know what he wants. In either case, my honest opinion is that couples who break up need the break to figure out how to make the next one better. You’ve already had your chance with him.
Just a humble opinion from someone who has gone through the make-up and break-up cycle many many times, only to find out that the make up never lasts in making me happy. Whatever you decide, have your boundaries memorized so you will never be confused about how to react to what he does to you. Good luck to you.
6 May 2009 at 5:10 am
groundy
Kim,
I just dropped everything in my life to try again with the jerk.
They don’t change, they just get better at lies and manipulation. Once you’re out and find your ground you can see this and walk away with ease.
11 December 2009 at 5:26 pm
john tan
Are you two lesbians?
22 February 2010 at 7:54 pm
pickly
This site and checklist is rubbish, far too many legitimate variants that come into play. Utter bollocks
16 December 2011 at 5:08 am
homewrecker
I’ll make my story short, as this is a very old thread, and I just want to throw this odd-ball tale out there. I was married to a jerk for 16 years. After he threw me out in a drunken rant for the second time, I left for good. An old school chum (married to a female jerk) and I began to correspond and became close, and that’s how I became a homewrecker. My friend and I eventually married. Six years into that marriage, my ex-jerk was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. By then, he and I had made our peace. Since he had no one (no friends and no family), my husband and I decided I should go take care of the ex. So I moved back in with him and cared for him for a year until he died, and then two months longer, taking care of his affairs. We were all grateful for that last year. It’s been 10 years since I left my ex and two years since he died. All of the bitterness is long-gone. All that remains is love for who he was and what we had, when we had it. Plus, this tremendous love for my current husband, who never gets drunk and yells at me, or throws me out, and who makes me want to be the best, most-loving wife I can be. We are so close, I’m happy to say, we are solidly homewrecker-proof.
18 December 2011 at 8:30 am
Business plans for small business
ah that exactly what i would like may very well be.