Tensions in your relationships are often caused by someone thinking he or she is absolutely right. You’ve often heard about the man who claims that it really doesn’t matter who is right as long as he agrees that she is right. Well as p-whipped as that man may sound, there’s a little bit of sense in that. Many women tend to relentlessly argue why something is right or wrong, and usually their man detects this behavior and doesn’t bother presenting a counter argument because it will create more work for him than desired. So the man quietly says “Yes, Dear” and goes on with his own thing.

A healthy argument is a good. That’s when both sides challenge each other’s viewpoints with the goal of possibly gaining a broader understanding of the topic. Personally, I like arguments that end in my having a more well-rounded view of what I was arguing. But when you argue for the sake of arguing and you set out to prove that you are right, you are closing off yourself from personal growth.

In arguing to be right, you not only close off your own growth, but you turn off others from understanding your viewpoint. Have you ever argued with someone who initially expressed his opinions but suddenly clammed up? That’s a hint. Many men in committed relationships realize the futility of arguing with a woman on a mission. Their attitude is to pick their battles, so they don’t argue on anything that doesn’t really affect them. Now is that healthy in a relationship to have that sort of dynamic? My answer is no, and I’ll tell you why.

When you’re in a relationship with a “Yes, dear” man, there is something bad that subtly builds up over time. You would be not in a relationship where you honestly share thoughts, regardless of how insignificant the topic. If a topic is important enough to bring up, then it’s important enough to share honest opinions on it. And it’s a consideration for the other person to bring up a topic where his honest opinion is welcomed. If you fall into a pattern of bringing up topics, only to expect him to agree or else have him get an endless earful of why he should agree, then you are not being considerate and thus the “Yes, dear” relationship emerges. Resentment builds up, and then one day, you’ll be shocked that you didn’t know he felt that way.

Let me tell you right now, whatever the topic, you’re not 100% right. There will always be angles that you haven’t considered, so you should keep an open mind to receiving more viewpoints. Even when your man has a completely opposite opinion, it’s no less valid than your argument. Agree to disagree and then leave it. Perhaps bring it up again to remind him of your viewpoint if he forgets and doesn’t consider your viewpoint in his decisions. Argue again only if he welcomes a better understanding of your viewpoint, and ask for his opinion again only if you want a better understanding of his. If he refuses to share anything with you, regardless of how welcoming you are of his opinion, then you’re with the wrong man.

No one likes a “know it all” and honestly…you don’t know it all. I sure friggin don’t know it all.