Listen, honey. It’s simple. If he’s keeping you a secret after quite some time of dating, you’re NOT all THAT to him. You’re only a small bag of chips. Only a dude who doesn’t think highly of your relationship will stowe you away like some beat up teddy bear that he’s ashamed to play with. Don’t kid yourself thinking that he’s waiting to announce you to the world in a grand fashion. There is a reason why he hides you, and it’s never a good thing for you.
Obviously, if you know he’s cheating on someone AND you still accept being with him, then I don’t have to tell you that you’re just as screwed up as he is…so good riddance and come back when you’ve figured out he’s a jerk. But if he’s hiding you for any other reason, it’s because he fears some sort of retaliation from others. Unless he’s hiding you from being killed, deported, or inducted into slavery, it’s a blatant disrespect for you and the growth of your relationship IN ADDITION to a disrespect for the people he’s fooling. The act of hiding something is purely out of fear. Even if the fear seems as mild as hurting someone’s feelings, hiding his relationship with you means that he doesn’t believe that you are worth the risk of possible negative consequences.
Sometimes, he’s such a big jerk that he won’t even tell you he’s hiding you. Here are some clues that he’s keeping you a secret from at least one person:
- He hardly wants to go out in public with you, and makes excuses when you specifically request to go out. Perhaps he’s hiding his association with you from a specific group of people, like his other girlfriends or in-laws.
- He doesn’t want to be seen holding hands or being affectionate with you in public. Perhaps he doesn’t think you fit the right image of who he wants to be with.
- He wants you to call before you come over, or expresses that he doesn’t like surprises. Perhaps he doesn’t want to have to explain why another girl is at his place.
- He doesn’t let you answer his phone. Perhaps he doesn’t want to explain why an unknown girl is answering his phone.
- He doesn’t openly talk about his phone conversations or text exchanges, even if you ask him about them. Perhaps he doesn’t want you to realize he’s flirting with or dating other women, and he wants to keep his options open by making you ALL think he’s a nice guy.
- He makes excuses why you can’t meet with certain friends or family members. Maybe you should just realize he’s a frigging dickhead by now. Need I go on?
If he’s a crafty jerk, he’ll make you feel “special” by letting you in on whom he’s hiding you from and why…LAME…Wake up, Monica Lewinsky…It does NOT change the fact that he’s hiding you and that he has disrespect for you and those he’s fooling.
If you’re seriously dating or having meaningful sex with someone who seems to be hiding you, regardless of whether or not he is admitting it to you, he has an agenda with someone else. He either thinks he’s damaging his image by being with you, or he thinks he’s damaging his image by being with you. Take your pick…SHEESH…